Ok I think this is the biggest question for me that stems all sorts of other questions that double back on themselves.
Lately I've been trying to define in my brain what I actually believe. If you take the Rob Bell example of the brick wall and the springs I feel like over the past years my wall has slowly crumbled to the point where I don't trust it to hold anything. It's like I am keeping the rubble around and still doing Christian things in part because I don't know what else to believe, in part because it's the way I've always done things and I'm scared of change especially change in relationship with friends and family, and partly because I believe there is some truth in there and I'm afraid that if I test it and put some weight on the wall the whole thing will fall and I'll be left with nothing. I want to start rebuilding with springs, but don't really know how or feel like I have the time and excitement necessary. I think this is a process that most of us are at some stage of and have been really grateful for the Cohort and that everyone is really open to discussing thing that really aren't open for discussion in an established Church.
I was thinking about the legitimacy of the Bible in the shower this morning and thinking about how it all goes back to the question of What does God actually do? Did He inspire the writers of the Bible to write the perfect words and for books chosen to be canonized to be the specific books He wanted and for the translators to translate it the way He wanted and then for us when we read it to understand what He meant? It is possible that He had his hand in the processes every step of the way. Or also part of the way He could have only inspired them as much as He inspires other writers today or They could have just written what they saw and heard and it could have been just a natural thing. I also have this question of prayer too. When I pray what does God actually do?
Ok I'm having a difficult time trying to put to words what I think/feel, but I guess them main question I want to ask is:
When something unexplainable happens to you, how do you decide if it was God, you understand it but know it's not God or you just don't know either way?
I feel like lately everything unexplainable has been going into the I just don't know either way category which feels very empty. I don't like being uncertain about everything, but don't know how to have certainty because the more I look into something more uncertain I am about it.
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