Advent has become one my favorite times of the year. It allows me to remember and honor a quiet
waiting in the darkness and fills my heart with hope.
My favorite thing about the Christmas story is that it
depicts how gently Jesus came into to the world. You would never have known unless you happened
to look for a star or unless you happened to listen for angels singing.
You would never have known Jesus came unless you entered
into this magical event with awakened eyes, awakened hearts, awakened minds.
Jesus--the embodiment of that rare combination of sorrow and
sweetness.
I write to tell you that my circumstances have turned once
again. My husband left his part time job
he had held only three months because he could not physically continue. It was causing him more damage than staying
brought good.
So I find myself back in the darkness of adversity and
uncertainty once more.
It feels the same as it did the times before. Those old familiar feelings rise up of being
lost, angry, overwhelmed and helpless. Pride
and selfishness storm in. Vicious judgments circle and threaten…You can’t go
through this again. You’re not going to
make ends meet now. Debt is your only
choice. Run away from this. You can’t do it.
I have tasted adversity often enough to know and expect its
bitterness, stench and poisonous affects.
But I know of its sweetness as well.
It is the place I become most vulnerable most human. It is the place that I always know I will find
Jesus and I follow. We have done this
together before.
This darkness is not the same because I am different. This darkness is not the same because of those
of you who love me. This darkness is not
the same because my husband has awakened eyes, an awakened heart and an
awakened mind.
This darkness is not the same because
I am heard
I am known
I am loved
I am found
With my deepest gratitude, I thank you and know you are for me.
Nancy
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