Is it ok if I Try to Clarify a Little?

Yesterday I met with Angela and Tracy for coffee. The recent comments on the blog post had frustrated and confused me. Angela had not felt genuinely heard and I wanted to understand why.

After some rough starts in connecting, Tracy helped me with perspective. My statement, “I like things the way they are right now with the Cohort. I don’t really want things to change” really frustrated Angela and Tracy.

Tracy said, you probably feel like you don’t want change because you are in the midst of so much stress right now; you can’t even consider any more change. And I sighed and said, Exactly. He said that is totally understandable, but what Angela and I really want to hear from you instead of “I like thing the way things are” is what are your values and priorities in the context of the Cohort. How is the Cohort meeting your deepest needs Nancy? Is there anything you don’t like? I believe this is what Angela and Tracy are longing to hear from each of us.

My specific answer to that question of how the Cohort meets my needs is that I value deep connections with people and so I have with intention begun to seek out more one on one times with many of you. I’ve had coffee with Eve, Julia, Chad, and Jane. I’ve met Nick for lunch. Mike and I took a meal over to Adam and Kara. I helped cut out fish with Jesse and Kellye for the Guatemala trip. I met with Angela and Tracy for coffee yesterday. Each of these times, I was essentially saying what can I do to show you that I love you? How can I give to you and of course out of this I have received so much back in return. For me, this is a very deep need met.

Further, I still have a need to talk about where I am spiritually and about some of my old beliefs. While I was cutting out fish, Jesse and Kellye let me spend two hours dissecting statements like, “God won’t give you any more than you can handle” and what does grace really mean for me now and what does “God is in control” mean?

It was awesome let me tell you. I probably completely wore them out and I said, wow I was really selfish there. They just laughed and we got a lot of fish cut out.

If I understand Tracy and Angela this is what they want us to share in a discussion together. Angela wants us to say and she wants to be able to say “this is what is really meeting my needs and this is what is not. This is what I like and this is what I don’t like. These are my values and these are my priorities. What do you think of this idea? What are your ideas? What is really working for you and why?”

Angela, please feel free to add or correct me.

The other thing I want to say that I completely misunderstood this… I thought Angela and Tracy wanted to duplicate The Refuge and wow I was really wrong about that. Actually I was about as wrong on that as I could have been.

I’m very sorry about that and while I still may not be getting it exactly right, please know I want to.

So in an effort to collaborate, please come today with those thoughts in mind. What do I really value? How has the Cohort deeply met my needs so far and what are my stories? What bugs me about the cohort?

Lastly, if anyone has a couple folding chairs they could bring, that would be awesome.