Advent has become one my favorite times of the year. It allows me to remember and honor a quiet waiting in the darkness and fills my heart with hope.
My favorite thing about the Christmas story is that it depicts how gently Jesus came into to the world. You would never have known unless you happened to look for a star or unless you happened to listen for angels singing.
You would never have known Jesus came unless you entered into this magical event with awakened eyes, awakened hearts, awakened minds.
Jesus--the embodiment of that rare combination of sorrow and sweetness.
I write to tell you that my circumstances have turned once again. My husband left his part time job he had held only three months because he could not physically continue. It was causing him more damage than staying brought good.
So I find myself back in the darkness of adversity and uncertainty once more.
It feels the same as it did the times before. Those old familiar feelings rise up of being lost, angry, overwhelmed and helpless. Pride and selfishness storm in. Vicious judgments circle and threaten…You can’t go through this again. You’re not going to make ends meet now. Debt is your only choice. Run away from this. You can’t do it.
I have tasted adversity often enough to know and expect its bitterness, stench and poisonous affects. But I know of its sweetness as well. It is the place I become most vulnerable most human. It is the place that I always know I will find Jesus and I follow. We have done this together before.
This darkness is not the same because I am different. This darkness is not the same because of those of you who love me. This darkness is not the same because my husband has awakened eyes, an awakened heart and an awakened mind.
This darkness is not the same because
I am heard
I am known
I am loved
I am found
With my deepest gratitude, I thank you and know you are for me.